I went to pay my respects last evening at my friend's father's funeral. All I wanted to do was give my friend a hug and tell her and her family that I'm so sorry for their loss.
In my heart I know that there's nothing one can say to make loved ones feel better, that the most important way to speak is with one's presence. Even though I know that, I still managed to say dumb things as I went down the reception line. Like "Great to see you!" Fortunately, it's one of the nicest families one could meet and nobody rolled their eyes or took offense, just thanked me for coming.
In retrospect, I wish I'd found a way to convey a Helen Keller quote that the family of the late Doug Woo, my friend and former news colleague, shared on its thank-you card to those who attended the services. I think of it often.
Helen Keller: "What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."
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